Moday (last blog entry!)

Well, this is it. I spent most of last night proof reading and helping hunter finish her college application (it was finished at 11:53pm, 7 minutes before the deadline). It has been one hell of a stressful day, but we got it done and everything worked out.

I gave out, or at least tried to give out, my cookies to Mrs. Traverso, Ms. Proctor, and Mr. Lamerato. Unfortunately, Mrs. Traverso has Crohn's disease, and so she can't eat cookies, and Ms. Proctor and Mr. Lamerato both refused because "it was part of their job to help me out." Well, I thanked them, and that was that....

Also today, as Mom and I were picked up dinner, we accidentally backed up into a car behind us. My mom was furious, since she had so much work to do and couldn't afford an increase in insurance payments. There didn't seem to be any real damage, but we waited around anyway for the man (who's car was parked) to come out of the restaurant. He came out a few minutes later, we explained what happened, and without even glancing at his car he smiled and said, "It's alright. It happens to all of us, don't worry about it." And he drove away. I was really touched that he just believed us and seemed non-nonchalant about the whole thing. Had he wanted, we would have gave him all our info and whatnot, but he was just incredibly nice about the whole thing.

What it means.

Well, since the project is heading towards its end, I thought I would use this opportunity to reflect on my progress, and what this daffodil project really meant to me.



Now, this project hasn't always been easy.  I've been swamped with other projects and assignments, and it seemed like the daffodil project often took a backseat to everything else. It even started to seem tedious at times. However, I think this project has really shifted my thinking on kindness. Doing nice little things has become less of a hassle, and more of a reflex; I take pride in brightening up someone's day.

Also, though, I have been working more on my attitude. I've come to realize that my own behavior has wide reaching impact on others. If I am happy and content, others will be too. If I am depressed and irritable, on the other hand, it brings everyone else down.  So, I think out of all of this, I've just become more happy with myself, and it seems like it has been spreading.

I think my interpersonal relationships have been strengthened by this project as well.  As I have been searching for ways I could help out my friends, I have been bonding with them more than usual. And even people I haven't known very well, I have started to hang out with and start lasting friendships. Also, I have strengthened my relationships with the lunch ladies, hall monitors, and janitors. Many students ignore these staff, and I've felt it was my duty to show that they are appreciated, and I've come to really like them. They are great people, and I have had some wonderful conversations with them.

Well, I think on the whole, I have done some real good in this project. Even though some of my projects have been directly about issues important to me (and so were more politically focused), I feel like I still improved the lives of the people around me.

Sunday... I need more creative names for these posts

Well, today has been fairly slow, and mostly family oriented. I was woken up ay 7:00 in the morning by Hunter (my sister), with a question about the common application. She has been so stressed out lately, and so worried about her tough class load and part in the musical, that she has procrastinated as long as possible with her college applications. She has already sent one in (to MSU), but Tuesday is the early action deadline for her first choice school, Wooster in Ohio. So, I've spent most of the day helping her through her application and editing her essay, which has been kind of hard, since I have huge axiety over the whole admissions process...

My mom helped me bake cookies today, and I'm going to bring in a few for Mr. Lamerato and Mrs. Traverso, since they've helped me deal with college admissions emergencies, and Mrs. Traverso may need to do so again with Hunter. Besides, they have so much on their plates already, it might be nice to give them a cookie to brighten their day. Especially at the end of a trimester, as they have to be swamped with work right now.
Random Good Stuff
I picked up my little brother from Hebrew school
A man accidentally knocked over part of a clothing rack at Kohl's, and I helped him put everything back.
I was very nice to a waitress that messed up my order, and I told her not to worry about it.

Occupy Detroit!

Well, today was the big day. My sister, Ella, and I went down to Occupy Detroit for a few hours, and it was quite the experience. It was crazy, chaotic, disorganized, yet totally genuine, energetic, and welcoming (just to use some of my favorite adjectives). We got down there a little before noon, meet up with our friend louis, and walked around the encampment for a while. There were about 60 tents strewn around Grand Circus Park, all clustered around the central fountain. There was a library tent, a medical tent, a press tent, and even an outdoor kitchen to serve food. It was really incredible to see how sophisticated a "city" occupy Detroit had become. But it is the people that really make Occupy Detroit. They are an eclectic group: socialists, anarchist, libertarians, feminists, yet all were inviting.

First off, we started with the General Assembly (GA), with along 200 other people. This is the decision making body of the occupation, where each person is given equal voice. It is based around consensus; a simple majority is not enough to get anything passed, but rather any proposal can be rejected if a significant number of people are adamantly against it. Well, the GA centered around loosing their permit to live in Grand Circus Park. They were trying to decide whether to stay at the park and resist the police, or to leave the park and find another place to occupy.

Well, everyone in the crowd broke off into inclusive small groups to discuss the issue, and then each group sent up a representative to report back to the group. Then, anyone who wanted could bring up a proposal to be debated and voted on by the group. This was direct democracy at its finest. It got a little tedious at times, and occasionally chaotic, but everyone was represented, and it promoted a great sense community, even for people who just came to spend the day, like me.

I didn't really get a chance to volunteer much. The GA went on a lot longer than I thought (3 hours), and my sister and Ella were getting a little uncomfortable down there, so we left early. To be fair, there were several mentally ill and homeless people in the encampment, and there were acting overly "friendly" towards Ella and Hunter. One man kept trying to grab my coat and Ella's bag. So, we tried to stay in the middle of the group, and there were plenty of people walking around keeping an eye on everything.

Now, for the daffodil project stuff. Well, I didn't get to volunteer, but I still did my best to do good. The groups were all very touchy feely, and I hugged and made friends with several of the protesters. When we were sitting down, I gave up my seat and ended up standing in the back. Several mentally ill people were in the crowd, and I talked with a few and was friendly. Also, during the general assembly, a few women were trying to remove a man smoking a joint in the middle of the park, and he started accosting them. They yelled and called "safety", but most people didn't hear them. So, a few others and I yelled out for help, and half the GA ran over to help out. It got solved quite easily afterwards. Finally, I donated the money I had to help out the cause, and I am going to write an article about the movement for the school newspaper to help popularize the occupation. I guess some of this is just satisfying my political leanings, but I feel like I did at least a little good out there.

Thrusday

Today was a pretty good day. I carried on my day like normal, doing a few acts of kindness here and there, but I think my real focus was improving my attitude. Since we've been watching "What the bleep do we know?", I've been thinking a lot about how attitude shapes yourself and the world around you. Water, it was shown, is very responsive to a person's intention and feelings, and the molecules within the water order themselves accordingly. Even more, it was also shown that desiring a specific result, like an imbalance of heads or tails while flipping a coin, actually makes it more likely to happen. Well, I feel like I should apply this to my own life. I've been stressed out and a little short tempered lately, so I've made a real effort to have a positive attitude throughout the day. I haven't felt particularly energetic or healthful recently, but these last few days I have started genuinely feeling better. But, even more so, I've felt that I could use this attitude to help others.  Happiness is contagious, and so I felt that the best way to "pay it forward" was to help influence other people positively. And so far, I think it's been working, at least a little.

So, yeah...

Well, my act's of kindness thing today was kind of a fail. I did start the day trying to complement everyone, but as the day went on I started doing it less and less. My complements just felt kinda forced, even though I genuinely believed every one. I think the more you try to force and pre-plan a "random" act of kindness, the less meaningful it becomes. Removing sarcasm for a day was more of an attitude shift than an act of kindness, and so it helped me be a little more considerate for a day.  The individual little complements and actions were all completely genuine then. So, I think for the moment I'll abandon my "kindness quota", and try instead to focus on a few big acts, while taking advantage of all the small opportunities I have to do something nice.

On another note, I think for the next few days I'll just list some of the little things I've done that don't merit a full post, just so my blog looks more full and important.

Nice Stuff I Did Today
I drove a friend to work so she wouldn't have to walk in the rain
I filled in for another group's acting presentation on Hamlet during English class
I answered the door for a kid selling newspaper subscriptions for college money, and I took one of the order forms and let him get out of the rain for a minute.

Evil Stuff I Did Today
Invaded Iceland (again)


So, the next real planned out thing I have lined up is going to Occupy Detroit. While I have my own motives for going there, I think it would be nice for me to help out (with either first aid, or food, or various comfort stuff), and maybe I'll even bring some blankets and books. Other than that, I'll just see what comes up and what I can do.

Say No Evil (Follow-up)

So, it was interesting trying a day with no insults, joking or not. I think, on the whole, it's impact was positive: I was kinder to others, I thought out the possible consequences of my actions,and I felt a little more calm and level headed than normal. I even had a couple people come up to me and tell me how nice I was. However, I still don't think being sarcastic is detrimental to a friendship. It can even be helpful, as it can establish a humorous familiarity between two people.  I think the real reason I seemed nicer that day was because being kind or sweet was the best way I could think of to interact with people without being facetious. So, tomorrow at school I'll try to tweak this experiment a little. Instead of not being facetious, I will try to complement (or do some nice deed for) everyone I have a conversation with tomorrow.  That way, I'll directly be focusing on being nice, without having to sacrifice the fun of being sarcastic and obnoxious :)

Speak No Evil

I've been trying to think of some new act of kindness, when a very simple thought occurred to me. One of the essences of kindness, the silver rule, is "do not do to others what you would not have them do to you." So, simply put, I've decided not to be mean tomorrow. Well, more specifically, tomorrow I will not say anything mean, sarcastic, "smart-alecky", or otherwise flippant. Generally, I don't say anything intentionally hurtful, and I try to carefully chose my words to avoid offending people. However, all too often, I respond to every question asked to me sarcastically, and sometimes I go too far and actually hurt someone's feelings. There comes a point where constant, satirical comments can indeed become as vicious as actual insults. Without meaning to, I can ruin someones day, or at the very least irritate them. Now, I do believe there should be a balance, and a little bit of irreverent humor keeps things lively, but just for a day I will "speak no evil," and see if that changes anything in my life. I'll report what happens tomorrow.

Happy Birthday (Part 2)

So, we gave Mrs. Read her own little birthday celebration. We surprised her when she came into the cafeteria with the birthday cake and the card (signed by the entire club). When she walked into the room, the club started singing happy birthday to her. Well, as soon as we started singing, some of the other students at the conference wanted to join in, and eventually the entire room, more than 600 hundred students, began to sing to her. It was actually pretty cool to watch. Then, she blew out the imaginarily lit candles on her cake (didn't think it was a smart idea to have fire in a room with 600+ kids). I forgot to get down the text of the card, but it said something to the effect of "Thank you so much for all that you've done for Model UN, and you have been the best advisor possible, Happy Birthday."

Happy Birthday (Part 1)

I tried submitting this last night, but for some reason it didn't post, so I'll rewrite it. So, today was our first Model United Nations conference of the year, SEMMUNA. Our sponsor, Mrs. Read, had several months ago planned a trip to Chicago during that same weekend, but out of duty to us she skipped her vacation. And far from being resentful, she's been an amazing sponsor. She's fought to keep the administration off our backs for club fees, she's helped with logistics, and she's given great ideas and advice for the club. Well, as Mrs. Read and I were preparing for the conference and solving a last minute crisis, she mentioned her birthday was a few days ago, and she had just had a rotten day. We understood how much Mrs. Read had sacrificed to help us out, and so our club decided to make it up to her. I went out yesterday to get her a birthday cake, and I hand made her a card. I'm going to get the entire model UN club to sign it, and we will present it to her at the conference.

Loose Change

Well, I have a larger act of kindness in its planning stages, but until that, here's another one of my little projects. Well, it started in eighth  grade, when our class was reading the novel Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli. One of my favorite passages was,

“Throughout the day, Stargirl had been dropping money. She was the Johnny Appleseed of loose change: a penny here, a nickel there. Tossed to the sidewalk, laid on a shelf or bench. Even quarters. 

"I hate change," she said. "It's so . . . jangly."
"Do you realize how much you must throw away in a year?" I said.
"Did you ever see a little kid's face when he spots a penny on a sidewalk?” 

And it stuck with me. Whenever I go to the store to buy something, I keep the change in my wallet until the opportune moment arrives.  Sometimes I'm on a street corner, or walking alone in a school hallway, or even just outside the grocery store.  When no one is looking, I drop a coin on the ground, always heads up (because, of course, it won't be lucky otherwise). Today, as left the restaurant after a dinner with my grandparents, I left a penny and a quarter outside the front door, in as dry an area as I could find. 

Well, that's it for today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll start up with my new, mystery project.

Tag Days

So, I just thought I'd muse on the Tag Days fundraiser I helped out for this weekend, for the school districts music programs. It started Saturday morning at 7:00, we went out to "beg" for money outside of Einstein Bagel. Now, we were asking people for money right before their morning coffee, which probably wasn't an ideal situation. A lot of people straight out ignored us, turned the corner when they saw us, or even sprinted inside, just to avoid talking to us. It was actually pretty funny, the lengths people would go just so they didn't have to say "no" to our faces. But still, a large number of people gave donations for the music program. Mothers with young children, senior citizens, collge students, and business men all gave to help out our music program. Even one of the workers at Einstein Bagle, a young guy who used to play saxophone for North Farmington, gave us some money. It was really nice to see people, often who were in a hurry or looked like they couldn't spare much, give money to support music. Our donations ranged from $20 to a few cents, and every penny went to a good cause. Not only do students involved in the arts do better in acedemics, but a strong music program can help unite a community, and give it a shared sense of identity. 

My laptop

So, this time I was on the receiving end of a kindness, so I thought I'd share. Last Thursday I brought my laptop to school so I could work on an English essay during class. I don't have a real case for it, so I kept it in a brown paper grocery bag. Well, I brought it outside with me as I was waiting to get picked up from school, then my mom came and I went home. At about 5:00 I started looking for my laptop; I couldn't find the brown paper bag I was keeping it in. Then I realized that I left it outside of the school. Well, we dashed over, but I was sure it was lost forever: either someone had stolen it or it was damaged. While, when we pulled up to the school, I looked for it outside, but nothing was there. Thankfully, the school doors were still open (they are almost always locked by 4:00), so was the office. When I walked in my laptop was right on the front desk; someone had turned it in. It would have been so easy for someone to take it, and they probably would never have been found out. Yet, out of the kindness of someone heart, they turned in the laptop to make sure it found its way back to me, with no expectation of reward or anything. That just brightened my day little, not to mention it saved me several hundred dollars for a new computer!

Fun with the TSA

This is nothing too impactful, but i thought I'd share it. The other day my sister and I went down to the airport to pick up our dad, who was coming in from California. My dad wasn't due until 8:30 pm, but since my mom didn't want me driving so far in the dark, we left a little before 7:00 pm. We got there about 7:40, with nothing to do. So, we ran around the airport, got a drink at one of the tiny coffee shops, and ran up and down the moving sidewalks (just a little). Well, all around the airport are TSA agents, security workers, and tons of miscellaneous other employees. No one makes eye contact with them or says so much as "Hello", which is understandable given the massive security increases at airports. Still thought, airport employees do not seem to love their jobs. So, Hunter and I spend a half hour walking around the airport, saying hello to everyone we saw. We even struck up a few conversations with TSA security agents, who seemed shocked anyone was willing to talk to them. Most of them came away smiling. Fortunately, security didn't think our behavior was so suspicious it warranted detainment!

Rosh Hashana

Thursday, as some of you probably  know,  was Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year). My grandmother is the matriarch our large, tight-nit family, and every year she puts on a grand dinner for all of us. There are always thirty or so people, kids come in back from college, some out-of-towners come in, and everyone brings their children. On of my uncles has an Au Pair (a nanny) for his three children, and she comes every year to keep the multitudes of children from killing each other. She's a young student from Croatia going to college at OCC. She's really nice, witty, and just fun to be around, yet my family treats her like crap. It's nothing overt, but they just tend to ignore her and treat her as much as an "employee" as possible. They always call her "Au pair", never by her real name; they rarely look her in the eye when they talk to her. My aunt came down, sat next to the au pair, and started a "conversation" with her. Really, my aunt started talking about herself, nothing about the Au Pair, and then when my uncle sat down on the other side of the Au Pair, she directed the whole conversation to him, and didn't say another word to her. They were literally having a conversation over her, without including her.
So, I did my best to make her feel comfortable. Hunter (my sister) and I helped her out a little with the kids and talked to her about college and life in Croatia, and I feel we had a pretty good time. We tried to make her feel, at least, like she was part of the family. I just can't stand that the rest of my family just doesn't care about making her feel welcome.
 

Harrison Bonfire

So, Sunday night, I picked up a few friends, and together we went over to the Homecoming kick-off bonfire. Like most school events, it started off slowly, with several clumps of friends and a few kids alone on the sides. One of them was a kid I'd hung out with a few times (he will remain nameless), but I probibly haven't spoken to him in more than a year. He was in a corner of the baseball field, headphones in his ears, looking lonely and a little depressed. I told my friends I had to take care of something, and went over and just started talking to him. He told me how much he hates school events, how none of his friends even showed up, and saying over and over that he should just go home. I told him that these events always start out awkward, but get more fun as time goes on. So we talked. And talked. And talked. He started to really open up, and even brighten up a little. I took him to meet the rest of my friends, and we all hung out the rest of the night. I even introduced one of my link crew freshman (who didn't know many people there), and the two of them seemed to hit it off pretty well.
When I started talking to him, honestly, it felt almost like a chore. I felt like it was my duty to be nice, and I was just doing something to add to my Daffodil project. But once we had been hanging out for a while, I started having a pretty good time, and so did he. I had some really wonderful, albeit unexpected conversation with someone I wouldn't normally have talked to. I guess that's the lesson of it. Nice acts involve going out of your way to do something that most people normally wouldn't do. Going into this uncharted territory, more than just giving you a warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside, gives new insight and experiences that enrich life and make it dynamic.

Letter to the Islamic Cultrual Association

So, I just sent of my letter to the Islamic Cultural Association, to welcome them to the city. Here it is:

"Dear Islamic Cultural Association,

I am a young student from the Farmington Hills/West Bloomfield area. I am writing to say hello and welcome your organization to our neighborhood.  I’ve lived in here my entire life, I went to Eagle Elementary as a kid, I went to Warner Middle School, and now I’m studying at Harrison. When I first heard my old elementary school was going to be demolished, I was heartbroken. There were rumors going around suggesting a CVS or some other chain store would buy the property. Now, I might not have loved every minute of my schooling at Eagle, but having such a major part of my childhood be turned into some commercial money making scheme made me profoundly sad. It just didn’t seem fair that an integral part of our community could be wiped away so quickly.

Then I heard the Islamic Cultural Association was planning on moving in; I was thrilled. Instead of becoming a just another chain store, Eagle would become a gathering place for members of the community once again. The new Islamic center will increase our community's diversity while promoting cooperation and tolerance among our many different faiths. Even more than that, I’m hoping the new Islamic center will be able to teach people what Islam is really about, and dispel some misconceptions that some people hold about your religion. How, like virtually all religions, Islam is a religion of peace.

I wish you luck on renovating and setting up the new Islamic center, and I hope that once it is completed, I can visit and learn more about your religion.

Standing on the side of love,

Alec Ramsay-Smith, A friendly neighbor"

 I decided to send the letter directly to the ICA, instead of posting it in front of Eagle Elementary. I'm still not quite sure if I did the right thing, but I've thought it out pretty thoroughly.  If I were to post the sign outside eagle, most likely it would not be seen by a member of the ICA. Realistically, only a construction worker or someone from the neighborhood might see it. If a construction worker sees it, more likely than not it will just get thrown out or ignored. Now, if someone from the neighborhood sees it, there are only two possible outcomes: either the person will agree with it and just keep walking, or some bigot comes by and decides he needs to put up his own letter attacking the Islamic center. 

Now, the purpose of this project is to spread kindness.  I'm trying to make a religious group feel welcome in a city that has shown quite a bit of hatred towards them. I could publicly post the letter to try to provoke a fight, try to challenge bigotry in the neighborhood. But to what end? It won't persuade anyone to "stand on the side of love". The community hearing on the sale already called out some residents for their bigotry. All I'd do is inflame the small, xenophobic minority even more, making the environment more hostile for the very group I sought to welcome. All of it, really, just to satisfy my own ego. Now, if there are open protests to stop the sale, I'll be the first one out for the counter protest. But with only a small, though vocal opposition, I feel the best way to cut down on misconceptions on Islam is for the community to actually meet Muslims. 

So, I think I'll just stick with the private letter to the Islamic Cultural Association. I want to do a kindness, and I think the more people make them feel welcome, the more excited they'll be to join the community.  However, if things get worse, if the xenophobes get more and more open in attacking this one minority group, all because of misconceptions over their religion, then it may be time for more public action.

What to do, what to do

So, I'm still trying to figure out the main focus of this blog. Will I be recording every little good dead I do, like opening doors for people and stacking chairs? Will I start just a few big projects and blog about the process? Will I just post my own acts of kindness, or other peoples too? The answer lies in my real motives for my daffodil project.

I guess I started this blog more for myself than anything else. In my "old" age, I've gotten a little cynical about society, about life, about peoples motives. There are countless examples of hate, bigotry, and unspeakable cruelty in the news and in life. I try to stay optimistic, and most the time I am, but it's so easy to skip over all the wonder and kindness in the world. This blog is to prove that one person, patiently working, can make a difference. That a few little kindnesses here and there can bring some light into the world.

So, I guess my blog will be a number of different projects. I won't blog about every time I push in a chair or pick up a piece of trash off the floor, but if I do something that I feel really made a difference, big or small, I'll do a post. Maybe I'll try to make friends with the custodians and lunch ladies, who so many students ignore and take for granted. Maybe I'll try to help out someone who's having a bad day. Maybe I'll eat with a kid who sits by himself at lunch. I don't think I'm going to post other peoples work by itself, but instead use it as inspiration for a new project or idea.

I think my next post (after this Eagle business) will be a list of ideas, just to get started, even though I think the best kindnesses are done spontaneously. We'll see what happens next...

First Offical Act of Kindness

So, here goes my first attempt to spread a little kindness. As many of you know, Eagle Elementary School, my old school, has been closed down and is being sold to the Islamic Cultural Association. What should have been a simple transaction turned into a huge controversy, as a small number of "concerned citizens" intensely lobbied to halt the sale. They believe that Islam as fundamentally a religion of violence, totally incompatible with American society and democracy. Some legal reasons were also cited, but an attempted lawsuit was quickly thrown out by the courts for having no merit.

I've been very excited that a new religious group was going to call Farmington Hills its home, and increase our community's diversity while promoting cooperation and tolerance among different faiths. I'm hoping that as members of our community interact more and more with Muslims, old stereotypes and misconceptions can be thrown out and forgotten. Yet, I'm afraid a few bigots will make our community seem xenophobic and inhospitable to certain minority groups.  So, I am planing on writing an anonymous letter to the Islamic Cultural Association welcoming them to the city and telling them the neighborhood stands firmly behind them, and posting it outside Eagle Elementary (and maybe I'll send it to them directly as a letter or email). I'll post the letter and some pictures when I finish, hopefully tomorrow.