Rosh Hashana

Thursday, as some of you probably  know,  was Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year). My grandmother is the matriarch our large, tight-nit family, and every year she puts on a grand dinner for all of us. There are always thirty or so people, kids come in back from college, some out-of-towners come in, and everyone brings their children. On of my uncles has an Au Pair (a nanny) for his three children, and she comes every year to keep the multitudes of children from killing each other. She's a young student from Croatia going to college at OCC. She's really nice, witty, and just fun to be around, yet my family treats her like crap. It's nothing overt, but they just tend to ignore her and treat her as much as an "employee" as possible. They always call her "Au pair", never by her real name; they rarely look her in the eye when they talk to her. My aunt came down, sat next to the au pair, and started a "conversation" with her. Really, my aunt started talking about herself, nothing about the Au Pair, and then when my uncle sat down on the other side of the Au Pair, she directed the whole conversation to him, and didn't say another word to her. They were literally having a conversation over her, without including her.
So, I did my best to make her feel comfortable. Hunter (my sister) and I helped her out a little with the kids and talked to her about college and life in Croatia, and I feel we had a pretty good time. We tried to make her feel, at least, like she was part of the family. I just can't stand that the rest of my family just doesn't care about making her feel welcome.
 

Harrison Bonfire

So, Sunday night, I picked up a few friends, and together we went over to the Homecoming kick-off bonfire. Like most school events, it started off slowly, with several clumps of friends and a few kids alone on the sides. One of them was a kid I'd hung out with a few times (he will remain nameless), but I probibly haven't spoken to him in more than a year. He was in a corner of the baseball field, headphones in his ears, looking lonely and a little depressed. I told my friends I had to take care of something, and went over and just started talking to him. He told me how much he hates school events, how none of his friends even showed up, and saying over and over that he should just go home. I told him that these events always start out awkward, but get more fun as time goes on. So we talked. And talked. And talked. He started to really open up, and even brighten up a little. I took him to meet the rest of my friends, and we all hung out the rest of the night. I even introduced one of my link crew freshman (who didn't know many people there), and the two of them seemed to hit it off pretty well.
When I started talking to him, honestly, it felt almost like a chore. I felt like it was my duty to be nice, and I was just doing something to add to my Daffodil project. But once we had been hanging out for a while, I started having a pretty good time, and so did he. I had some really wonderful, albeit unexpected conversation with someone I wouldn't normally have talked to. I guess that's the lesson of it. Nice acts involve going out of your way to do something that most people normally wouldn't do. Going into this uncharted territory, more than just giving you a warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside, gives new insight and experiences that enrich life and make it dynamic.

Letter to the Islamic Cultrual Association

So, I just sent of my letter to the Islamic Cultural Association, to welcome them to the city. Here it is:

"Dear Islamic Cultural Association,

I am a young student from the Farmington Hills/West Bloomfield area. I am writing to say hello and welcome your organization to our neighborhood.  I’ve lived in here my entire life, I went to Eagle Elementary as a kid, I went to Warner Middle School, and now I’m studying at Harrison. When I first heard my old elementary school was going to be demolished, I was heartbroken. There were rumors going around suggesting a CVS or some other chain store would buy the property. Now, I might not have loved every minute of my schooling at Eagle, but having such a major part of my childhood be turned into some commercial money making scheme made me profoundly sad. It just didn’t seem fair that an integral part of our community could be wiped away so quickly.

Then I heard the Islamic Cultural Association was planning on moving in; I was thrilled. Instead of becoming a just another chain store, Eagle would become a gathering place for members of the community once again. The new Islamic center will increase our community's diversity while promoting cooperation and tolerance among our many different faiths. Even more than that, I’m hoping the new Islamic center will be able to teach people what Islam is really about, and dispel some misconceptions that some people hold about your religion. How, like virtually all religions, Islam is a religion of peace.

I wish you luck on renovating and setting up the new Islamic center, and I hope that once it is completed, I can visit and learn more about your religion.

Standing on the side of love,

Alec Ramsay-Smith, A friendly neighbor"

 I decided to send the letter directly to the ICA, instead of posting it in front of Eagle Elementary. I'm still not quite sure if I did the right thing, but I've thought it out pretty thoroughly.  If I were to post the sign outside eagle, most likely it would not be seen by a member of the ICA. Realistically, only a construction worker or someone from the neighborhood might see it. If a construction worker sees it, more likely than not it will just get thrown out or ignored. Now, if someone from the neighborhood sees it, there are only two possible outcomes: either the person will agree with it and just keep walking, or some bigot comes by and decides he needs to put up his own letter attacking the Islamic center. 

Now, the purpose of this project is to spread kindness.  I'm trying to make a religious group feel welcome in a city that has shown quite a bit of hatred towards them. I could publicly post the letter to try to provoke a fight, try to challenge bigotry in the neighborhood. But to what end? It won't persuade anyone to "stand on the side of love". The community hearing on the sale already called out some residents for their bigotry. All I'd do is inflame the small, xenophobic minority even more, making the environment more hostile for the very group I sought to welcome. All of it, really, just to satisfy my own ego. Now, if there are open protests to stop the sale, I'll be the first one out for the counter protest. But with only a small, though vocal opposition, I feel the best way to cut down on misconceptions on Islam is for the community to actually meet Muslims. 

So, I think I'll just stick with the private letter to the Islamic Cultural Association. I want to do a kindness, and I think the more people make them feel welcome, the more excited they'll be to join the community.  However, if things get worse, if the xenophobes get more and more open in attacking this one minority group, all because of misconceptions over their religion, then it may be time for more public action.

What to do, what to do

So, I'm still trying to figure out the main focus of this blog. Will I be recording every little good dead I do, like opening doors for people and stacking chairs? Will I start just a few big projects and blog about the process? Will I just post my own acts of kindness, or other peoples too? The answer lies in my real motives for my daffodil project.

I guess I started this blog more for myself than anything else. In my "old" age, I've gotten a little cynical about society, about life, about peoples motives. There are countless examples of hate, bigotry, and unspeakable cruelty in the news and in life. I try to stay optimistic, and most the time I am, but it's so easy to skip over all the wonder and kindness in the world. This blog is to prove that one person, patiently working, can make a difference. That a few little kindnesses here and there can bring some light into the world.

So, I guess my blog will be a number of different projects. I won't blog about every time I push in a chair or pick up a piece of trash off the floor, but if I do something that I feel really made a difference, big or small, I'll do a post. Maybe I'll try to make friends with the custodians and lunch ladies, who so many students ignore and take for granted. Maybe I'll try to help out someone who's having a bad day. Maybe I'll eat with a kid who sits by himself at lunch. I don't think I'm going to post other peoples work by itself, but instead use it as inspiration for a new project or idea.

I think my next post (after this Eagle business) will be a list of ideas, just to get started, even though I think the best kindnesses are done spontaneously. We'll see what happens next...

First Offical Act of Kindness

So, here goes my first attempt to spread a little kindness. As many of you know, Eagle Elementary School, my old school, has been closed down and is being sold to the Islamic Cultural Association. What should have been a simple transaction turned into a huge controversy, as a small number of "concerned citizens" intensely lobbied to halt the sale. They believe that Islam as fundamentally a religion of violence, totally incompatible with American society and democracy. Some legal reasons were also cited, but an attempted lawsuit was quickly thrown out by the courts for having no merit.

I've been very excited that a new religious group was going to call Farmington Hills its home, and increase our community's diversity while promoting cooperation and tolerance among different faiths. I'm hoping that as members of our community interact more and more with Muslims, old stereotypes and misconceptions can be thrown out and forgotten. Yet, I'm afraid a few bigots will make our community seem xenophobic and inhospitable to certain minority groups.  So, I am planing on writing an anonymous letter to the Islamic Cultural Association welcoming them to the city and telling them the neighborhood stands firmly behind them, and posting it outside Eagle Elementary (and maybe I'll send it to them directly as a letter or email). I'll post the letter and some pictures when I finish, hopefully tomorrow.